Finding Home

My cup of Mt. Kitanglad A delicious lightness to the palate Easing my way to good 'ol Monday Sweet potatoes steaming Spinach, basil Fresh eggs Birds serenading my early morning My notepad and pen Scribbling in purple ink like a six-year old just learning the tripod grip, skills that are finite. Silence Absence Laughter Joy Insight-- Where I am is where I'm supposed to be. And how beautiful it is. As beautiful as friends turning into family, Places that we take with us, Become a part of us Filling the spaces Creating some more Expanding our universes And making it small. Darkness, one that is necessary For light to Break through. This. This moment as I write.  I do not know a great many things But this, All this I do know to be true. (Photo taken at Visayas State University, Baybay City, Leyte)

The sun is out. The sky has cleared. It is time to go for a walk. Let's go walk, Garret, I say to him. He quickly comes to me and we go out the gate. He smiles as he holds my arm. The wind is soothing. Everything is quiet. The sun is beautiful like a shy orb getting ready to descend to her resting place. Do I pause in my tracks and take a photo? I decide not to. How about if I just soak it all in, commit everything to memory? Presence. My little boy's hand on my arm. The priceless smile on his face. His gentle singing. The birds singing with him. Presence. The moon appearing early. Our footsteps on the asphalt. The wind on our cheeks. A cow mooing nearby. Look, Garret, "Cow." He replies crisp and clear, "Cow." Presence.  Breathing. Joy on my son's face as he looks at me and says, "Walking." Breathing some more. Presence. To see and marvel at the curiosity and wonder on my son's face as the sun finally descends to her resting place

"Love is in the small things." Brewing beans In the early hours Pouring it into your cup A towel for your bath Fixing me breakfast-- toast buttered to perfection Spur of the moment Drive into our favorite city Savoring the sea and sky Our shared silences Taking our boys for a ride Here, there, anywhere Moon finding Sun chasing Morgan on your shoulders Garret singing, I love you, you love me... The shirt you gave me That says, "Nothing worth it is easy" Yet the small things are Don't forget Love is not the magnanimous But the ones that are minute That when piled one on top Of the other Become large.

My everyday leap of faith And conquering doubt My laughing so hard And crying out loud My over the hill sorrows And over the moon joys My late night prayer Early morning psalms And my entire day  of giving thanks My road trips of light And ponderous Forks in the road My happy singing, sunset skies And beautiful moonrise My daily dose Of soul conversations  and silence  that speak volumes My grounding earth And soaring high My deep within And farthest horizon Perfecting the shape Of my heart You, you and you All three of you, You are my "Life is beautiful" My "Life is good" You are my Unwavering truth. My beginning Middle End  Oh my boys, my boys I love you I love you I love you.

Close your eyes Breathe deep Unclench your fist Hear heaven speak Be still Remember as with everything else But especially this-- Love Takes time. Now rinse and repeat.

Two admonitions: "Be strong." "Stay strong." Be  \'bē\ Definition :to have, maintain, or occupy a place, situation, or position. The first admonition indicates a conscious and willful decision to be strong, to face whatever comes every day. Used in a sentence: I choose to be in a place and situation where I am surrounded by positive energy, love, understanding and support from friends and family.  In this place I am able to draw strength from within myself, to willfully decide to BE strong every single day. Stay  \'stā\ Definition :to continue in a place or condition :to stand firm :to take up residence The second admonition--to remain where strength is, to sustain it and continue to fight the good fight. Used in a sentence: In the most unlikely of places and from the most unlikely people, I am reminded to STAY strong, for my feet to be firmly planted on the ground, to make strength of heart, mind and body the house I live

This is what 250 meters above sea level looks like Where the air is life For your weather-beaten body And mind Where the cawing of The crows declare You are alive! you are alive! This is what remorse looks like. As if the fear and anticipation Never bore you down As if  You never wished for A thing as impossible As a force field to shield Your boys as fiercely As You possibly could.  This is what relief looks like. An answered prayer To a desperate pleading "Please not again, not again. " This is what 250 meters above Sea level looks like High. Above. Rise. Up. Wide. Open. Begin again. Clear. Precise. This time richer. This time better. Stronger. And then you Remember, Reminded time And again,  "We grow stronger in the places we are broken." “The world breaks us all. Afterward, some are stronger at the broken places.” -Ernest Hemingway, Farewell To Arms