Finding Home

Every once in a while, out of the blue, something happens that make you confront your own demons again. How many they were. How deep they wounded you. How unfathomable they seemed. How it brought the age old ache that rips just about all your nerve endings. How you never think you'd reach a point of no return. How blatantly stupid one can choose to be. How absurd, impossible, unbelievable. But real, frighteningly real, it scares the whole life out of you. The questions. Ask them, face them, confront them even if the winds cut your face. Because there is really no getting out of this place. No other way but through. One unforgiving truth comes out-- you have never been merciful to yourself. Not even a single bit. I mean do you really have to? You buried it deep enough under mounds of earth the same earth you thought you'd already be buried in. Is there no redemption from this place? This place that you hoped would be your home. Where you would feel the most safe. But then even

Here and now Rain falling Coming in merciful torrents Dissipates all pain Dispersing Unimaginable heat Its sound like Flat notes on a Piano Andante, moderato With hints of Staccato delicately, deliberately plunked By a solitary soul comforting, imploring, "Close your eyes Breathe deep All that is good Remember life And all its miracles Hold on to hope Find that joy Excavate all That is not and just Let. it. Go. " Then repeat.