Finding Home

I attended our 3rd Graders' First Holy Communion  and as they were lining up for the processional, one of them said to me, "Ma'am Bea, you look beautiful." Now I think what she meant was that she rarely sees me in clothing other than my usual functional fitness garb when I facilitate their functional movement exercises for their P.E. class.  This time I was wearing a sleeveless pencil-cut dress,  two-inch heels and light make-up on. My heels were killing me and I felt as if somebody just put straps around my body making it hard to breathe, ha! But I digress. After I told her that she was prettier than me with her exquisite white veil, white dress, sparkling white shoes and sparkly eye make-up,  another girl then asked, "Ma'am Bea will we have games?" I laughingly replied, "No,  not this time my dear. Next week we'll have games. Now go and have at it with your First Communion. " When these kids were Grade 2, they were one of the first b

"Pilok na lang ang dili sakit." Days like these are coming more and more frequently. Dark. Somber. Anything but light. Empty ones. Like a can of pineapple juice opened, its liquid poured out elsewhere, the can placed outside where weeds grow. Where a drop of rain blares like An echo. The one you make when you shout in a cavernous space. Whatever it is-- room, hall, hill, the world, your heart, your life. For a moment you smile. It seems you are not alone. But then you realize It's just you.  "Pilok na lang ang dili sakit." "Pilok nalang." "Sakit." Until there are no words left,  just your fist thumping on your chest Telling a story you can no longer tell, Does it hurt everywhere?"  "Yes."