Starting Over

       A friend of ours recently moved abroad. After a few weeks of settling in, he shared a photo where he was standing on top of a mountain, his back turned away from the camera. He was facing the majestic sky, translucent blue, clouds glistening from the sun behind. And spread out in front of him was the landscape of earth, trees,  shadows and shapes of more magnificent mountains. I told him it looked like he had been there all his life.   

        Starting over. These two words have been running through my mind lately. What does it really mean? Is it carrying a huge luggage of a life to a different zip code? Is it ridding oneself of any material trappings reminding one of the old life? Is it cutting off ties that no longer serve you? Is it literally leaving to arrive at some place new? Is it a necessary severing of relationships in order to build, this time, more meaningful and authentic ones? My meditation teacher says constantly I can start fresh at any given moment in the practice and in life. I ponder on these words and notice how it looks different for everyone.  But no matter how it presents itself in various faces, more questions arise: Why do we have the need to start over? From what or where and to what and to where?

     In the last conversation we had before he left, he said, "I look at my parents. They're so contented and at peace with where they are now. I want that. I want what they have now." This stilled and silenced my heart for a good few moments.  The clarity and immensity of his own heart expressed through words were compellingly beautiful. There were no pauses in between. He said it in one breath. Remembering this now, I think how beautiful it always is when we are at the cusp of our journey and there is a conscious decision to waste no moment to express one's innate desires, and in doing so, to articulate one's path taking it a step further in making it real.

    While there are no certainties in this life, perhaps we all have this one thing that holds us together in this primordial need to start over. It is to find that contentment and peace that have become so elusive in our materialistic and consumerist culture and times. And yes, starting over may have to be carrying a luggage of a life to different place, and it may have to be discarding physical reminders of the old ways. Needless to say, perhaps for many, starting over means the breaking of not only physical but most importantly the mental and emotional connection with people that have, in truth, disconnected one from realizing one's true purpose in life, from self-actualization. Or for others maybe, it could also be as simple as the constant refreshing, recalibrating and reframing of one's thoughts into a space of coming to terms, contentment, peace in one's heart. Of surrender. One breath at a time. One moment of sharpening of the senses at a time. One more mindful choice made at a time.

        "I am blessed to be able to start my life over here," was our friend's reply when I commented on his photo that it is as if he had been there all his life.

        A glaring and to an extent blinding truth appears--The real name of contentment and peace is this-- home. And we start over many, many times to find our soul's true home, our heart's sacred space, the place where it is as if we have all been there all our lives, where we truly belong.

      Dear Friend,

              We are walking alongside you in this path.  And as my meditation teacher says constantly, I pass this on to you now: You can start fresh at any time in your life. 

                                                                                                                                Love and light,     

                                                                                                                                          Bea

"We are all walking each other home."  - Ram Dass

 

First bloom of Cosmos amidst the backdrop of our brick walkway where our boys do their daily walk.