Finding Home

      My son's first word wasn't "Mama". He was five years old when he uttered his first clear word.  At the time, we had a koi pond, and we were spending the afternoon watching koi swim around in their bright orange and white scales. Pointing to the fish, I said, "Look, Garret, fish!" He was quiet for some time and then he said softly, "ish" with the "f" so quietly enunciated that it was almost undecipherable. As it happened, part of me didn't believe it because I thought I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. Perhaps I also didn't want to believe it because it wasn't the word that I truly wanted to hear.            This life with autism throws a lot of curve balls. Or as a fellow autism parent said before, "(Our) Life is curve balls," in that it is constantly turning things on its head and more. Autism brings us to a place where knees buckle literally and figuratively, displacing one's ego because really it...