Finding Home

      My son's first word wasn't "Mama". He was five years old when he uttered his first clear word.  At the time, we had a koi pond, and we were spending the afternoon watching koi swim around in their bright orange and white scales. Pointing to the fish, I said, "Look, Garret, fish!" He was quiet for some time and then he said softly, "ish" with the "f" so quietly enunciated that it was almost undecipherable. As it happened, part of me didn't believe it because I thought I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. Perhaps I also didn't want to believe it because it wasn't the word that I truly wanted to hear.            This life with autism throws a lot of curve balls. Or as a fellow autism parent said before, "(Our) Life is curve balls," in that it is constantly turning things on its head and more. Autism brings us to a place where knees buckle literally and figuratively, displacing one's ego because really it...

Morgan Round cheeks Small eyes that grow large once in a while Hands gentle hold mine Garret Face angled to the sun, moon and stars singing Fingers long flick, touch my face softly like wind Morgan wordless yet intent spills this morning, he sits beside me says, "Mmm- mah," and then none Small eyes grow large Hands gentle touch my arm hold my Heart Garret in the dark head rests in the crook of my arm scant words says, "Aaa-peee," I bring him close my Heart sings.