Finding Home

The quiet The holding onto almost nothing And yet Everything Hung in the balance Of words and the loss thereof. April 12, 2017 Lake Janagdan Brgy Cabintan Ormoc, Leyte

April 12, 2017 Lake Janagdan Brgy Cabintan Ormoc, Leyte Our guide told us a story about men who have lost their way in the mountains, because they were brash, loud and arrogant, boasting of how well they know the mountains. He told us how his own father was bitten by a wild boar because he didn't make an offering to nature. "Halad sa Kinaiyahan, " he told me. Coming to the mountains, one would think as Thoreau did, "I went into the woods to live deliberately..." What did he mean? Perhaps what our guide meant. To not be careless or reckless. To be humble. To be mindful. To give respect to Nature. To honor the earth. Questions to ask now that I am back to the daily grind: What does humility mean? How should I live it? What offering can I, must I give to this life?

April 12, 2017 Lake Janagdan Brgy Cabintan Ormoc, Leyte Our guide said you are "Bonsai". To my knowledge, Bonsai are miniature representations of nature in a form of a tree derived from ancient Chinese horticulture then redeveloped under Japanese Zen Buddhism. Any tree can become Bonsai. Trees with small leaves make the ideal Bonsai, it has been said. Small creations from this vast, big realm of nature. A thought: How to remember every little thing that has taken hold of me on this magnanimous journey? Halfway through the climb up Lake Janagdan the sign said, "Take nothing but pictures..." So of course I took a photo of you, you beautiful creation. You, so named by our mountain guide as "Bonsai". How could I not? Bonsai, a miniature. Delicate in nature. Memories, precious and precarious, even more so. "Bon" a small dish or container. "Sai" a tree planted in the small container. How to not forget?

Memory of quiet,  rustle of trees as we tread  on broken branches and dead leaves Memory of ravines, Memory of tell me again, why did we come here? Memory of where is the end? Memory of how far? Are we there yet? Memory of relief at the sight of a clearing  small enough to fit five people Memory of the sound of the wind,  the feel of it like a cold cloth on our burning skin. Memory of fog, a gentle song closing in. Memory of a four-winged creature  fluttering up the trail with us. Come with me, it seemed to say. Come, sit, stay, breathe Memory of hands touching earth,  gripping tree trunks for balance,  heel digging,  mud on clothes even after an overnight soak, Memory of heart pounding out of one's chest, Memory of knees shaking, legs heavy,  temper flaring, silence. Memory of finally arriving Starving, feasting, story-telling, more laughter And then, Memory of "Yes, I will come back for you again." Lake Janagdan Brgy Cabintan Ormoc