Four Things

Illuminating. The only word I can use to describe my trip every time I visit home.

Which is why after too long of an absence, me dreading the traffic and the flooding in the more urbanized Cebu, and with Typhoon Hanna hovering over the northern part of the country, I surprised my mom with a short visit last week. Rough seas left me stranded as fast craft trips were cancelled the day I was due to return to Ormoc.  With all setbacks being blessings in disguise, being stranded was no different. I'm starting to think the Universe absolutely loves giving me setbacks more than my two hands could grasp, just so I can recognize the blessing in each and every single one of these.

So when the Universe sends me these packages covered in ugly wrapping paper, there are only four things to do: pause, breathe, ponder then do. In the pausing, breathing, pondering and doing, the packages are unwrapped revealing valuable insights that carry me through life:

Spend time with the people you love, the ones who nourish your soul, those who make you want to be better, those who make you better.

A niece shared with me,  "Auntie, after spending the entire summer just browsing through social media all day, I felt dumb. On the first day of class, I felt as if nothing was getting through my brain." 

What she said was true.  Information overload, browsing mindlessly in my news feed, saving articles for later reading (which I rarely read)  obviously do not mean increased learning.

Myka, my dear, when you do get a chance to read this, know that I am very happy to see how you are becoming more and more a fine young woman. You make your Auntie Bea want to be better.

Note to self:  More quality time with real people, more time reading actual books, more time actually reading materials that feed my soul.

Talk about what matters.   Small talk is just that-- small. It's useless. Let's have conversations on  health, healing, love, resilience, hope, mercy, forgiveness, family. Do you have more to add to the list? Do add.  Life is too precarious.

 Reflect afterwards.

Having experiences doesn't make us wise. Reflecting on those experiences makes us wise and achieve wholeness and authenticity." -Jane Fonda

Focus on the good. Learn voraciously from what is not.  Pay more attention to the bursts of light amid a mountain of darkness. Mindfully take notice of the seemingly tiny miracles happening everyday.

My cousin and her husband took me to an amazing restaurant overlooking the entire city of Cebu for dinner the night I was stranded. We were in an animated discussion on how CrossFit could supplement their triathlon training. Did I mention both of them joined the recent Ironman 70.3 in Cebu? And the two years before that? It is how they celebrate their wedding anniversary. How wonderful is that? Celebrating their vows through an explicit practice of health and fitness and with the Ironman no less! But I digress. As we were deep in discussion, their little girl, Maxine remarked, pointing at the view, "Look! The lights are dancing!" We looked and indeed, the lights of the city were dancing!

How many times have I overlooked the subtle yet ever present details that only remind me how blessed my life is? How many times have I allowed myself to dwell in fear and self-pity thinking the Universe as I know it has abandoned me? I need to realize that as much as the ugly parts of life are ever existent, the beautiful ones shine through. They shine so brightly especially through the ugly parts, the cracks. And sometimes they even dance. All I need to do, is to draw out strength and courage from the darkness, take what I can from every experience and follow the light.  Why not follow it dancing myself too?

 Many does not mean rich.  What use are a hundred pairs of shoes to you when you can only wear it one at a time? I used to think this way-- "I have to buy this so I can wear it to an occasion that might come up in the future." That future, never really arrives. If so, only rarely. 

On March 16 of this year, my mom suffered a stroke. A week after that a re-stroke. Her mobility was affected placing her in a wheelchair, her memory and vision as well. At 73, I honestly did not think she would recover as much and as fast as she has now. With consistent exercise and an overhaul in her nutrition, she can now walk with minimal to moderate assistance, her vision has partly recovered, her memory is better. She still can't remember my name, but she remembers moments in time that are significant to her.

I grew up in a family that is not well-off. We were a middle-income family and we had everything we need, nothing in excess. All I knew growing up was that no matter what mistakes I have done, there was only love, compassion and kindness. And somehow because of this, the people surrounding us has only bestowed us with these in return. My husband and his family has shown tremendous support in my mom's treatment and therapy. Relatives and friends have generously given their financial, emotional and spiritual support as well. My mom's healing and recovery from her stroke,  is largely because of this-- the richness of love, compassion and kindness of family and friends. 

Accumulating unnecessary material things does equate to being rich. But acquiring the things that do matter such as love, kindness, compassion and the drive to always become a better person, these are what it means to be rich.

So, my dear reader, when the Universe decides to leave you stranded in traffic, inter-island or something else, should you find yourself beset with packages you hesitate to open, all you need to do is four things:

             Pause. Don't complain just yet.
            Breathe.  Oxygen. You need it. Especially for moments like this.
            Ponder. Reflect on the possible purpose for everything transpiring.
            Do. What needs to be done.

Do this and you will find, as I have, your life as you know it, overflowing with blessings, more than your two hands can ever grasp.