Finding Home

As I was doing laundry this afternoon, I caught a glimpse of Garret swinging on the hammock while listening to his music on his portable Bluetooth speaker pressed and Morgan playing happily with his water hose. They're teenagers who have autism. Unlike other neurotypical teenagers who probably are with their friends on a weekend doing whatever it is that teenagers do nowadays, this is what they do. A friend told me recently how somehow them having autism was like never having to lose our babies. As they will always be in a way child-like forever. In a way this is a blessing. In another, it is a kind of grieving, one that churns my insides every now and then as thoughts of what might have been invade my day. I grieve that they could never have a life of their own, meet the love of their life, start a family, make memories and so forth. I grieve that I will never have grandchildren. A few years ago, I wrote about this briefly and said that I don't know what it means. Now, I have ...

   I was recently invited by the Institute of Human Kinetics (IHK), Visayas State University in Baybay City Leyte to share a message of inspiration to parents, teachers and learners with special education needs. This invitation was part of the program of their annual Sped-tacular Day Camp that consisted of adaptive physical, arts and music activities for the students at Baybay Central 1 Special Education Division. Each year, 2nd year university students enrolled in Bachelor of Physical Education and Bachelor of Culture, Arts and Theater create these adaptive and inclusive activities as part of their final requirement in one of their subjects, SPED 117 Foundation of Special and Inclusive Education.      Upon learning of the back story of this annual tradition, how one of the instructors of IHK, who also happened to be the Vice President of Student Affairs initiated this activity since 2008, I was awed and felt a familiar fire in my insides reminding me of th...

     I was preparing my first cup of coffee in the morning when the black-naped Orioles began calling. They occasionally visit the Neem Tree that grew just outside our property ten years ago. I noticed how it sounded as if there were more than two orioles which was a rare occurrence. And so, I decided to take my coffee outside.       It took a while before they sang again, maybe a good 5-7 minutes or so. In which time, I had already taken the first few, very much welcome sips of my waking brew. I took in their song still seated, resisting the immediate urge to have a visual on them. I continued to relish my cup of black whilst basking in their music. As I did, I heard the zebra doves cooing their soothing tune like a flute as well. The yellow-vented bulbuls were chiming in their short but sweet tones. And not to be excluded were the Philippine-pied fan tails with their staccato-like chirps. It was as if I was listening to a mini symphony live. The gard...

  Breath is found  On the torn wings of a butterfly In a fragment of a poem Written on cobwebs with morning dew  On a daring bud of Hibiscus shivering In the chill of the afternoon  In winds that kiss gently And sunsets that soothe  On grains of sand between  tired toes and soles grounding you In ocean waves that hold space In sky and earth fully present for you And heal you and heal you, and heal you Breathe, breathe, breathe.

        Healing Place  Only this moment Only this breath Inhale, exhale Return to the place Where everything arrives Where everything settles Aligns, permeates With trees, sea, stones,  Sand and sky Held in eternal love Rooted in the yearning of your body of your mind of your heart Sit here Stay here Heal.       In January of this year, I sought to fulfill a yearning in my own heart. I intentionally came to a place where I thought this yearning would come to fruition. I trusted my intuition and threw caution into the wind. Since then, my heart has been overflowing with awe and gratitude at what the Universe has allowed and aligned through the beautiful human beings and circumstances that have held me in deep healing through the exchange of stories, energy and intention-- theirs and my own. The saying of the Tao Te Ching has manifested once again in this phase in my life, in my time of need and longing: "When the student is ready, the tea...

  Life, Sense how it lands in your body The pull of gravity on your spine Elongating or contracting Your soles arching then softening on the ground underneath Your shoulders hunching like a protective shield or relaxing back down Arms dangling softly surrendering like leaves Floating in space as it must Hear the sounds falling all around you, then inside you Pleasant singing or an ominous rumbling Listen to each note, flat or sharp singing the song of your heart Taste the nectar of tenderness or biting sourness of pain The pang of hurt without downing liquid to hide its bitter taste Smell the cusp of elation like cinnamon, or peppermint or lavender, or rose, or of the aftermath of disconsolation Like something you would Rather avoid Feel how your pulse quickens Then slows down, Your breath hurried then steady, the pressure in your veins Tightening then calming Life, Let it rise in you Let it all fall Let it settle slowly landing on and in your body Sense everything that enters ...