Finding Home

You just get used to it. Eventually. That ebb and flow of expectation and disappointment. Sooner or later you begin to memorize the script by heart. You even know when the attempt to change begins. For whatever good intention there is you still find it in your heart to appreciate it because you can't help it. And then you wonder could it be true? The road to hell is indeed full of good intentions. So where are you off to? To hell? Or a heaven of intentions? But again it really is a matter of how much a heart can hold. It's amazing how quickly and slowly a heart can heal. In one instant you feel as if the wind has been knocked out of you and all you see is the world spinning, and in the seconds that follow, that familiar acrid acidic process in your insides, at the pit of your gut takes place ever so slowly. You fail to identify what it is until you realize, "oh its you" --your natural ability to adapt, accommodate, adjust your perspectives and ultimately your expec

Poetry Readings A sacred haven where boys Became men And men turned Into craftsmen Artisans Of words and Emotions The very language Of your hypothalamus the very function Of your left brain Exploding Like Katy Perry's Fireworks Unashamed Unfeterred Unapologetic you hear them Articulate Throes Of sorrow Desperation Of lost loves Of happy endings Of musings That speak of The chaos In their mind Taboo almost And yet it is Taboo That makes it All the more Beautiful Euphoric nostalgic eternal Where women Reveal How cold a fire Can turn And how the heat Can emanate From ice Where spite Is thrown Here and there And yet It is picked up Again one by one Like shards of glass Reattached and turned Into one hilarious Song Of romance And love and frisky Sunsets Singing your Age old pain that ironically Is the prime Ingredient Of your joy Gibran was right

So here we are, on this frayed bench The sun has set And the wind is picking up Not unlike your words Startling Almost like silence And banging cymbals Deafening You are one universe Of contradiction and yet beneath It all The pauses And deep breaths You take Makes Me want to Run my fingers Through your hair Cup your face And tell you Over and over Until you believe it "It's okay." Breathe in Breathe deep The questions, They're there For God knows what And who knows What the hell for You'll find the Answers soon and no, you won't Find it in this place or anywhere else I take your hand Press it to your Wildly beating Chest I say, It's right there. Listen to Rumi Pain has its Mercies And the wound, The wound Is where the Light enters You Just be still Wait, listen Look at me I found you Didn't I? Oh I'm telling you, You'll find yours

-2-20-13- Come sit with me Down on this bench Wooden, frayed, old Like a man In his late years Who has seen much Too much for the mind To comprehend The sky is beckoning The colors of the sun And the wind Come now it's time To settle down Come sit with me And breathe deep As we enter into Conversations of Endless starts and Hesitant endings Asking queries as How much can one Heart hold? What pain and Renunciation are Ready to be told? When does healing Start? What choices are To be made To make the terrible right? Come, sit with me There are stories Aching to be Laid out Like cards on The table of life The sun is turning A glorious red Transforming the Sky magnificent Come sit with me And allow The comfort Of silence and words To envelope Your tired soul Like a safe haven That admonishes you Gently, clearly Remember, you are Not alone. The sun is setting Now Come Si

2-20-13 The slumbering hours Are done My body wakes Yet unmoving, still Listening to the World wake From its drowsy State When the darkest Dark of night Turns to dawn Where midnight breaks Its shell to give way To morning calling Beckoning Like the furious Singing Of this place's version Of larks Or nightingales Bursting in Joyful praise Of the coming day Gray dusts of light Turning light yellow Bursting through The window I gently place My gaze on my little king Sleeping soundly Softly snoring I smile in wonder at the Miracle in my midst Day wondrously breaking and this amazing Bundle of life Gently, peacefully Breathing I wrap my arms Around him Holding him tight He snuggles close I then memorize The image of The sun's rays Willing my body To move and rise I take in My king's scent Inhaling deep His peace And as I do My eyes close And once again My bod

Sometimes all it takes Is a leap of faith A fistful of hope Not to let go Tons of grace to carry me Through the not so good days And enough humility To ground me Through the grand ones and through it all One breath of deep Surrender I close my eyes Beckon peace breathe deep And Believe Every waking Minute of everyday That everything is How it must be Just believe, I say To the warring voices Inside This insidious well Of doubt In my head, in my weary heart Tired of asking questions To which no answers Suffice Believe, I tell myself Have courage, Aching heart Everything comes To pass Carry on, Keep doing what You're doing You will get there Maybe not today But one day. Everything will be Alright Maybe not today But soon... Just believe, Hold on to Hope And take that Daily leap of faith.

The vast blue sea Was blue like I've never seen Was it the sun with its rays Powerful as it had ever been? T'was beating out all that Was not part of sheer beauty It seemed Sifting out what was impure And I was just there Mouth agape in utter Awe and amazement The sea, oh the sea Blue like you've never seen Almost indigo But more beautiful More magical almost Mystified my sensibilities I realize how I could stare at it forever To be lost in time In space, even generations And for as long as I could I held its gaze upon my Minute mortality Its infinity, majesty Astounding me with this humbling Reality-- every once In a while heaven Rewards even the most Mundane, drab and ordinary life With the most magnificent Astonishment, revelry... And for one brief impassioned moment I feel the blood In my veins Pulse through the deepest deep Of my beating heart For one mercifully,blessed moment I feel asto