Finding Home

Three days ago, I was tasked by the Rotary Club of Ormoc to be part of our senior students' career orientation scheduled Saturday, November 29  to briefly talk about the field of Psychology. It has been a long time since I have spoken about my degree. It has been a long time since I have spoken to an audience of 70 plus or more. It has been a long time since I have prepared a speech. To be exact it was almost two years since the last training program I facilitated which entailed only five participants organized by the same club members who requested my help at the time. I prepared the speech yesterday in just under an hour. (This, I have to thank CrossFit for, which will require an entirely separate post). I had no time to do a more comprehensive research which I did not need to do anyhow  since I was instructed to prepare a 5-minute speech. Given the routine limited availability of my schedule, I did one rough run through of my speech in front of our three office s

Despedida. Leave taking. Parting of ways. I have lost count of the number of friends who have left for another country. It doesn't matter that I only have ten fingers and the friends who have left are less than ten. Because who I consider friends are the very few people who have moved me in remarkable ways. And one leaving is a tad too many. I don't do well with goodbyes. Like most people I suppose. I'd rather take it all in and write. So here I am again dealing with another friend leaving. Coach Chino, my only regret is that I was not able to take the opportunity to be under your wing, save for my elements classes, during your time in Pintados. But, they say there is a purpose for everything. Do know that whatever you have shared with Andro and me-- your passion, your commitment, the sincerity of your friendship, your "realness" as a human being,  will not be forgotten. When Keza informed us about the details of your despedida, and she said to bring food that

These words Will be the Last of leaves Landing on A patch of Earth next To your feet A parting gift If you will-- Landing. Falling. Fall. Before the coldest Time of the year But what do I know? We have no winter Here. Still, Fall. One's Flight from grace Like mine to yours Fall. as one does When one loves No matter how small Fall. "To descend freely By the force of Gravity." Secret names in Secret caves Fall. Apart. Break one's bones. Those nearest The heart Fall. Away. Change. Fall. Green leaves Turning red And yellow shades. Fall. Now, Get up.

Tap-tap-tap A knock that opened Pandora's box Tick-tick-tock The seconds announce With the deafening ding Of a grandfather's clock The eternal silence of minutes That turn into days And into weeks That turn into a year A year into a story, Untold Only through This-- Words that blur Overflow Into verses that Claim to be Pretend to be The very thing We were looking for What were we Looking for? That elusive fork In the tattered Road map? I loved you and You me. Let's leave it at that.

  It's okay. You don't have to do it all. You don't have to get it right away. Some of the best lessons are learned not the hard way but the best way you possibly CAN learn. Just because someone else yells "failure" into your ear doesn't mean you are. You are worth every single piece of you--mind, body, soul, heart. You are enough. Because you are striving to do better each day. You are beautiful in whatever angle, in however the light casts its shadows on you. Remember, your passions are what makes you. And you, my dear are one amazing human being. You are so worth it. You are worth fighting for. You are worth living for. Now go back to the first line, immerse, repeat.

A quiet yet imposing reminder that:  Transformation is the greatest thing that could ever happen to anyone. Miracles happen every single day.  And no matter where we may go in our personal journeys, though we face our own monsters, we are not alone. A friend is just around the corner. One needs only to look up, look around and ask for help. 

"I believe one writes so that one can create a world where one can live." -Anais Nin So this poem is A necessary sadness That you, my dear Shall be Immortalized in the words That bleed out of my quill's feathers In secret Always In secret.