Finding Home

And then there's this nagging of sorts, a fierce undertow fighting my better sensibilities to grab on to you as if you were my life vest only to remember you were also the tumultuous sea that caused my ship to wreck and still to drink that liquid willfully forgetting the utter dehydration it might cause, caused me. And now I am Merely recycling words To remember Or maybe to forget.

I wonder Am I the only one who notices the blue? Or the calm? Or the mirror-like surface? Or the blatant beauty of This ship with all Its rust and wear And dusty cargo Yet still proud and grand as it Stands like a queen On the silent sea?

Thoughts While I sip My coffee Black Dark As Dusk Turns Into night And rum cake On my Tongue Bitter Sweet But how I love Not the Sugar Thoughts Such as What if's Surface Everytime You do But I know You ask Them too The what if's Like an Interrupted Kiss That we both Stop Where The Question mark Ends. What if ? Yes. In another Life, Maybe. But no, not This.

Write until your fingers bleed. Put it all out there for All the world to see Everything you've ever Believed to be true And sacred has just Been desecrated Ripped away Not unlike the furious Winds of Four months ago Not just once Or twice but Over and over and Over again And now you ask Yourself what must Be learned? What must be forgotten? And what misgivings Were you able to Forgive or claim to And above all who? All this ranting Brings you no Peace, only momentary Relief. A few minutes? Compared to a life-long Sentence? No periods or commas Or even question marks. Only words that blur Said in breaths that Come in gasps. And no amount Of inhaling air And expeling its remnants Thereof could Ever be enough. Who could save you? You wonder And do you even need Saving? You cannot answer. Or you don't know how. But you do know this-- Inhale, exhale Breathe Just breathe. And this--

Channel me As the sea does With the light Of the tired sun Over and over And over again.

One can never Measure up If one is not enough To Outrun Outspeak Outforgive Outgive Outfeel To Outlove. So how do You deal? You invent Words like These and You simply Learn To be Who You are In the Order Of Things.

The truth will hurt But it will have to No one has ever Broken free Of binds that Never did. Photo taken at Lake Danao, Brgy. Lake Danao, Ormoc, Leyte