Finding Home

Sometimes all it takes Is a leap of faith A fistful of hope Not to let go Tons of grace to carry me Through the not so good days And enough humility To ground me Through the grand ones and through it all One breath of deep Surrender I close my eyes Beckon peace breathe deep And Believe Every waking Minute of everyday That everything is How it must be Just believe, I say To the warring voices Inside This insidious well Of doubt In my head, in my weary heart Tired of asking questions To which no answers Suffice Believe, I tell myself Have courage, Aching heart Everything comes To pass Carry on, Keep doing what You're doing You will get there Maybe not today But one day. Everything will be Alright Maybe not today But soon... Just believe, Hold on to Hope And take that Daily leap of faith.

The vast blue sea Was blue like I've never seen Was it the sun with its rays Powerful as it had ever been? T'was beating out all that Was not part of sheer beauty It seemed Sifting out what was impure And I was just there Mouth agape in utter Awe and amazement The sea, oh the sea Blue like you've never seen Almost indigo But more beautiful More magical almost Mystified my sensibilities I realize how I could stare at it forever To be lost in time In space, even generations And for as long as I could I held its gaze upon my Minute mortality Its infinity, majesty Astounding me with this humbling Reality-- every once In a while heaven Rewards even the most Mundane, drab and ordinary life With the most magnificent Astonishment, revelry... And for one brief impassioned moment I feel the blood In my veins Pulse through the deepest deep Of my beating heart For one mercifully,blessed moment I feel asto

When all is calm and still, devoid of even the song of the winds, when the leaves of trees are mute, I breathe in, breathe deep, quiet, stillness, peace, it is then that my soul sings... Singing, evoking a distant memory Of a place we might have been... Was it a childhood dream? lived as if real? Was it a place of sand, where waves came rushing in? Was it high on top the cityscape where clouds kissed our weary cheeks? Where was it? My memory evades... And then it dawns like that of an earnest sun breaking through the darkest dark of night, It wasn't anywhere else, It was the clear as day evoking life truth... It was a fierce pull of belonging, a finally finding oneself, It was a wondrous, beautiful certainty A final finding of home, that is you... Photo credit: Joy Villahermosa

Rain falling like the story of my life ,in droplets, in cascading downpour, with occasional whispers of a lonesome wind pulling me into a deep slumber of rest and respite And then it thunders on,the sky, and the rain,endless torrents of tears seeping into every crack, every break of my soul, and then it happens-- night falls. It finally ceases the thunder and the rain. All is silent save for the moon beckoning me to wake, rousing my soul from dreary sleep .And then I do. And this is when lightning strikes again...

I miss us. Walking down the streets of crooked lines Hand in hand Under the bright moonlight and hazy lamp posts Talking for hours On end like there was no tomorrow Like nothing else matters only the two of us And the dreams we had were promises of a paradise that eluded us And that one brief glorious moment in the most mundane of circumstances, I knew It was going to be you. You were the one. So, yes. I miss us. I miss the possibilities then the anticipation of a life beyond amazing... They say we enter into this thing with blinders for eyes and earplugs for hearing. Now that we are stripped off of everything... What is left? Love? What does that even mean? So, yes, I miss us. The notion of us. The concept of us. The excitement that was us. The exhilaration that was us. The joy that was us. I miss being so sure that it was you. That it is still you. To forgive... Forgive me. Forgive you. Forgive everybody else. Forgive the world. Fo

At one point or another, we come to a fork in the road. Go left? Go right? Or pause for a while. You've been carrying all this baggage that your back has been strained and you have no other choice except to lay them down because if you don't, it will break. You will break. And when you look at the road ahead, you simply cannot move. For all those years that you've been taking charge, being bull-headed, controlling everything willing everything to go your way, you are finally tired. Your knees buckle, they fail you when you try to stand up. With all the noise, humdrum and chaos of the world you have built around yourself, your senses finally reach their limit and disintegrate. At this junction you call out for help. Anything or anyone to pull you out or at least help you climb out of the deep deep well you fell into. You seek comfort, respite, solace. Solace in friendship and family. Where boundaries of space, place or time do not matter. You pick up where you left off. J

To find what is lost To rekindle embers dying To remind oneself of one's calling To seek one's purpose To know where to go when the tides come and wash away your house of sand To look to the heavens the stars, the moon even the blinding sun just to find answers to satisfy the inquiries of your spirit To tirelessly ask Why? and How? as in How to make amends? How to begin again? To break the shell that encloses your understanding To allow yourself to feel the pain of that shell breaking To deny, to give in to anger To bargain with God with whoever To allow yourself the brief comfort of weeping Then to finally accept,  let things be How it was and is now To remember what was forgotten To regain strength from the worst of infirmities To realize there is no other way to relieve oneself of burden but to simply lay down the cross fall on your knees and return ho